Negative

A little over two weeks ago I had posted about my estradiol level being 159, which was good:) Well, a couple days later we went to Indy to do an IUI after that. If you remember they cancelled it and then we were lucky enough to get a chance this month!!! I thank our doctor and the man above for that:)

I was a little nervous going up there and also during the time we had to wait for 2 hours. It was busy that saturday for them! The procedure only lasted around a minute or two and was a little uncomfortable but not too bad, just awkward. After the nurse did it I laid there for about 20 minutes and then we were on our way. I wanted to get to the truck and not walk much so I could just lay back down. haha. I know they say it doesn't make a difference really what you do after an IUI but I felt better doing that. I had cramping the rest of they day which I was surprised but when I woke up in the morning I felt much better!

Two weeks later I took a pregnancy test and pretty much knew I wasn't pregnant...and I wasn't:( Negative again! I wasn't going to take it on Christmas and was going to wait till monday but we decided to just go for it. It would have been the best Christmas present EVER if it was positive! It still hurts but this was a chance I didn't think we were going to have this month. So I am Thankful for that!!! I worry about this baby stuff a lot...which I try not to but it is sooo hard!!! The doctor wants me to take a month off and let my ovaries rest since they stimulated them. Then we can try again!!! Then we can just Hope for the best:)

New Kind Of Elf

WARNING: IN TRAINING

I just had to buy both (shirt and bogan) for our little Khloe! I thought they were so cute!!! Notice the ball in front of her....yeah she is obsessed with it. I had to put it there so I could get a good pic. haha  

Good News

Dr. J called me this morning and said my Estradiol was 159!!!!! Yay!

The Power of Prayer

First of all I wanted to THANK EVERYONE for their encouragement, prayers and reminders!!!! I have so many great people in my life I am beyond blessed! I wouldn't know what to do without all the people in my life! Plus, the people I haven't even met in person that are there for me:)

Doctor J tried calling me tuesday morning but I was at work and missed his call. And I finally did talk to one of the nurses tuesday. It was really weird that they didn't return my calls monday b/c that never happens! I don't know if there was a reason that happened or what. I know God answers prayers and things happen for a reason and this week is a reminder. Monday night I felt more of a calm through everything and have been doing better since!

The reason I brought up everything happens for a reason is because:
*I missed Dr. J's call tuesday.
*I scheduled a "phone appt" for today.
*Then I called the office to see if I could see him in the office b/c I know I would feel much better talking to him in person and I felt I needed to go up there but they were completely booked till January.
*The office called back yesterday to tell me there was a cancellation, I was working an 8 hour day and that never happens or else I would have missed the call!
*Today I drove back to Indy and Dr. J told me that I had 12 follicles BUT my estradiol level was only 15. A normal person would have an estradiol of atleast 400 with that many follicles. And with even 1 follicle someone should have an estradiol level around 100. He had no clue why this was. He did another u/s and I still had a lot of little follicles but one good one. He repeated another estradiol level today and thinks we still may be able to do an IUI! I couldn't believe it!!!! I will find out tomorrow what my estradiol level is! I am hoping for GOOD numbers:) If not I don't know what his plan will be b/c he said he has never seen this before. What I love about Dr. J is that is always willing to try something and listens to everything I say. I know Indy is pretty far away but he is one of the best doctors I know!

So I truly think God was trying to show me who is in control! I already know that but this just brought tears to my eyes! Hoping for GOOD news tomorrow:)     

Aches

Today my doctor never did call and the nurse never did return my call. My heart just aches! I REALLY wanted to talked to them. I feel so left to the curb. I am an emotional wreck today and don't know if I made the right decision. I was really wanting to do another u/s today. After taking my meds, injections and driving back and forth to Indy for ultrasounds and then being told we can't do an IUI....it is just making my heart ache. I just ask for some prayers that I can have peace with this all.

Trying to stay positive

So after missing for a while......I am back! I wanted to update on some news I received this week. After hearing the news in August that we couldn't go through with an IUI and after having "weird" periods in September and October I was starting to wonder what was going to happen. I did know that if I was going to have another one day period or not I was going to see Dr. J. We decided last month that I was not going to take any medications and we were going to see what happened this month on my own. Especially since the last two months my body didn't adjust to the medications very well. Which were birth control and Provera.

Well, I had my period last week and had an ultrasound this week to see what my ovaries looked like. I was so scared when they did the ultrasound b/c in my head I wanted to see but then I didn't because I was scared I was going to get bad news. I actually had it in my head that I was going to have another large cyst. I can't help it and I am a little scared of getting excited b/c fear of getting let down. The nurse was even going medications before we did the ultrasound and all I was thinking in my head is, lets just see if I can even start taking these. To my surprise there were NO large cysts (just a couple small one's because of my PCOS)!! I couldn't believe it! Once I got in my car I just had tears because I couldn't believe it. This is the closest we have come to actually doing an IUI! I still get teary eyed/cry thinking about it.

Okay....I am going to pause for a minute. I saved this post this week when I wasn't quit finished and figured I would just update after this saturday (yesterday). Little did I know I would get some unexpecting news saturday.

Jarod and I had to wake up early on saturday (6:00 am) to have a follow up u/s to see how my ovaries/follicles were doing after taking meds and injections to prep me for our very first IUI! We were both tired but excited to see what was going on....ready to just do this!!!! However, when the nurse did my u/s I knew she wasn't happy to see what was on the screen the minute she seen ALL my follicles. I had 5/6 on the right and 4/5 on the left. I did have a couple larger follicles which is good b/c they are the one's that mature and what turn into an eggy's. But she didn't like how I had soo many! She said, usually this what we see when we are getting women ready for IVF. What?? We don't know how many of those follicles will form into eggs and that can be dangerous. I could be like ocotomom.....umm don't want that! I know with an IUI your egg(s) release and and they inject the sperm and wait on mother nature. However, you don't want too many eggs. I think you get my point.haha

I just wanted to start crying when she was going over all this with me. She was trying to reassure me and that just wasn't helping. I know she was being nice and was like you are still young you have plenty of time. BUT when you are ready you are ready no matter if I am 26 or 36! It is hard no matter what! I wish I could have talked to the doctor but was unable to b/c it was a saturday and he wasn't in. I had to get a call after she spoke with Dr. J to let me know they were cancelling our IUI procedure for this week! All I could think about  is what if it takes us another couple months to get this point. We got so close and BAM it was all taken away!  

I just pray that this will only help us for out next IUI procedure and hope that my body doesn't get too excited with these meds and go crazy making a ton of follicles. I keep telling myself this will help us the next time! I only pray it does! I just feel awful!!!! I know I don't want the risk of having triplets or more though!! I just hate dropping everything like this! Dr. J will call me monday and I am curious to what all he has to say. I am almost tempted to ask him if we can do another u/s to see how many of my follies are maturing even more. I know I don't give up easy! I am trying to hang in there and am doing a little better after yesterday. I was trying not to cry yesterday and held it in pretty good until last night and could't stop crying. I know when I cry it makes Jarod feel bad and I don't want him to get even more down b/c of me. He has always helped me stay stronger during this all and ALWAYS makes me feel better. But sometimes I just need to cry in his arms and let him comfort me. If you know what I mean.  I don't know what I would do without him!!!!!  The song by Blake Shelton, 'God Gave Me You' is how I feel about Jarod. LOVE that song!!! One day will be our day:) One day all these ups and downs will be worth it.

Catch Up With Pictures

I haven't updated on what we have been doing in a while.  Pretty much the past couple of posts have been about infertility....so I thought maybe I should post about something else. I am sure everyone doesn't want to read about all that infertility stuff in every post anyway! 

One day we drove to French Lick when we were both off during the week. That doesn't happen often! Of course we had to make our first stop at Bo Mac's.....if you have never tried their flavored soda's do try them if you go through Shoals. I always get the Marshmallow but have had the banana and they are sooo good!!! In French Lick we walked around the French Lick hotel, walked around the stables where I got horse snot all over my shirt (I guess the horse didn't like me).lol. Looked at the train's and tasted some wine. Oh, and sneaked around the golf course. hehe      

One last picture of us in case we got caught and went to jail. lol

Giving me the OK!

It was so pretty up there! And we didn't get caught....we are so good:)

On October 1st one of my best friends from high school was getting married in Terre Haute. We don't get to see each other as often as we would like but we got to spend all day Friday and Saturday together. They were long days but we had a ton of fun. I forgot how much work weddings can be but I love being in them!

All the bridesmaids.

Charlie Angel style. haha. We look confused!

Me, Sis and baby! 

LOVED her shoes!!!

How cool is the kitchen where she had her wedding/reception. I just had to take a picture of it b/c it is something you would see on HGTV!

LOVE

Us girls from High School.

Right before I was getting ready to leave. Tiff looking amazing!

A couple week-ends ago we went to Lark Ranch with Jarod's dad, step-mom and two brothers. 

I could actually Laso!

Group photo.

Silly

Boys will be boys!

Me and my hun!

Cutest little pigs around!

No Show

Well, leaving off from my last post. I just don't have much luck:( Or maybe the timing just isn't right.....I dunno. BUT I will gladly be ready for the right timing any day though!!!!! I continued to take the metformin PLUS the birth control last month to try and decrease the size of that cyst hiding in me. Well, when it was time for my period it was a no show....or was it. I didn't think it was at first but I now think I did have it but it was so light and lasted only one day I was second guessing myself. I know birth control can affect your periods but I didn't like how it only lasted one day. I called  my doctor's office and they said, they wouldn't call that my period and wanted to do a blood test to make sure I wasn't pregnant. Um, NO but I had to do it! I felt so silly! I really didn't want to do another test to just go and show I am NOT pregnant.

So after taking the birth control in hopes it would help, I really don't know what to think. I am currently taking Provera to induce my next period. I feel like I am experimenting with any kind of Fertility med out there:( So another month to see what happens. Surely one of these will help?! So this month still taking the Metformin and Provera. Not too many side effects really which I have been thankful for with all the meds. I have tried. I have heard too many stories about how bad the side effects can be. The only side effects I have had was the first week of taking birth control I was so emotional. And the Metformin upsets my stomach but has lessened somewhat. So I feel very thankful in this!!!! I am still ready to get to the point where we can just try an IUI procedure. I sometimes wonder if we will get to that point but I keep my hopes high! I keep waiting for the right time but at times I wonder if God really wants me to be pregnant. Only time will tell. Until then I will wait another month and maybe have good news then.

Thanks so much to all of you for your support you don't know how much it means to Jarod and I!!!!!  I know I don't say Thank You as much as I should! But I think it everyday.

One Step Forward and One Step Back

 I haven't updated in a while about our infertility journey. Mostly because from May to August our doctor wanted me to take Metformin for those 3 months and then come back to see if it was helping with my PCOS. I was sooo ready to go back in August because that medicine messes with your stomach. Yuck! I thought the medicine was helping but was still a little nervous the day we had to go back to see Dr. Jarrett. Well.......we did get good news. FINALLY!!!!! He too thought the medicine was helping and said we are ready to do an IUI procedure whenever we are ready! The moment I heard that my heart was lifted up. Jarod and I looked at one another like, really?! I was so happy that day and we haden't even started anything. It was just the idea that we could finally move forward and no more testing or trying a different medication. I was like are we getting more normal?? Because all of this can make you feel a little less normal if you know what I mean.

We had our appt. August and thought we would try the IUI procedure in September. But, I got to talking to Jarod and said I would like to try this month. He was okay with that and so I called the office to let them know! We have waited this long and I just wanted to do it!! haha.

So when the time came to do my baseline ultrasound last week before we would start taking the medication to stimulate my ovaries that is when we took one step back. The nurse said I have a large cyst on my left ovary and she doesn't want me to go through with the procedure this month! The weird thig is I was like, okay. I didn't get emotional and start crying but I felt peace with the whole situation. After I left the office I was thinking maybe that was a sign God wanted us to wait till next month. Don't get me wrong I still would have LOVED to have "tried" this month but I guess I am so use to the doctors telling us we will have to wait once again.

So now they still have me taking Metformin and started me on birth control. Then I should go back sometime next month for another ultrasound! In my head I am like, God please let this help!!!! I know I am not the only person out there that is going through this but it is something Jarod and I want so badly it hurts. My heart aches for all the other couples going through this same thing. But I know the time will come!!

We visited Mickey Mouse's Place

So I know we travel a lot and here we are again visiting another place. This time it was Disney World!!!! We left last monday and stayed for four nights. It was only a 2 hour flight so that was exciting! lol. A lot better than 4-5 hour flights! I uploaded a lot of photos so be prepared! 

  

Trying to take a pic. of  the entrance in our bus.

Our hotel!

Our room.....and Jarod is already taking advantage of the bed after only 15 minutes. haha

The view from our window! Such a beautiful hotel.

The cute boat we rode on to Grand Floridain to eat supper that night.

Love my kissess:)

Cool car we found!

Yummy! No way Jose at Beachclub hotel....I was craving it! So yummy but huge!

Walking around the boardwalk.

This guy was a lot of fun to watch in downtown disney! He would do different poses with people.

Dinner at Rainforest Cafe. Always a fun place. We were excited to sit next to the fish tank. haha

We only went to one of the parks and of course chose Magic Kingdom:)

Waiting on the nighttime parade. I loved watching all the vendors walk around!

Goofy is driving....watch out. haha

At Ohana's (one of our favorite restaruants). Jarod went up with the little kiddos to get a lei. I was too chicken to go up!

Me and my sweetie! Love him!!

The fireworks over the castle! Couldn't get a good pic b/c my camera never takes good pic of fireworks for some reason:(

At our hotel pool. Doesn't he look so happy to be in the pic. lol 

We went to the Wilderness Campgrounds to walk around and found some pretty horse's! I loved the braided hair.

Rained for a little bit so we had to take cover. Florida weather in known for that and rained most days but only for like 1/2 hour.

Our last night we ate at Jiko for my birthday. Even though it wasn't my b-day....but we celebrated on that day! 

They signed a card and gave me a b-day pin. Made for a special day:)

My dessert!

Our last day:(

Hope you enjoyed the pics....esp you Disney fans out there!!!

Wish Lantern

Last thursday (July 27th) Jarod and I headed over to my parents to let off Wish Lanterns in memory of Lindsey. It was such a nice way to end the day and we all loved watching each one take off until we couldn't see them in sight!

Jarod let his lantern off first. 

There it goes!

I was next. I was barely holding onto it because it was about to take off.  

Up and Away

Finally my parent's get to make their wish!

I loved watching the two take off together!

And you can barely see that little spec.

If you have never had these they are such a neat thing to do atleast once:)