Monday, May 16, 2011

Can we please have good news

So last week we had our doctors appt. that we had long awaited for. After months of waiting it was finally time. We went with hopes not too high b/c we know the situation we are in. And it seems like any news we get isn't very good:( Once we met Dr. Jerrett we loved him and knew we were going to def. stick with him......even though his office is all the way in Indy! We are willing to drive that far for a doctor we feel so much more comfortable with. We have heard great things about him and after meeting him we couldn't agree more. He made sure he got a good history on us and explained all our options (which we kinda knew already). It is sad to know there really are no other options in helping with low sperm counts.

This was our last opinion before we would start thinking about what we want to do. This is a big decision in our life and it hasn't been easy. I know deep inside we had a feeling we may not be able to use Jarod's sperm for IVF but when we were talking to the doctor I couldn't help it but to start crying. I felt awful b/c I know this poor guy has to see people crying A LOT but I could only hold in so much. Jarod kinda gave me a weird look like, why are you getting so emotional right now. ha. I guess maybe I was hoping he would say something to give a little hope....even though that is just a dream to us. So for now comes the hard part trying to decide what we want to do. I never imagined in my wildest dreams I would be doing this. BUT we are not in control!! I keep telling myself that even though I wish I did have some say so. You know what I mean!? We do know we want to have kids and however God decides to give them to us we will take. Even though it is hard b/c we would have LOVED to have a child of our own we will love any child given to us no matter what. All children are gifts from God and I totally believe that!! Life is so precious!

Back to my title. Can we please have good news? Nope. I was told this week I have PCOS. I was like, what????? I have only heard of heavier girls having this with abnormal hormone levels. All my hormone levels are fine. Well, Dr. Jarrett didn't like that my periods are irregular (sign of PCOS) and wanted to do an ultrasound. Low and behold he found what he was looking for and diagnosed me with PCOS after looking at my ovaries. He said, there is a thin version. It is a little different in that in some point of my life my estrogen levels were too low causing an alteration in androgen/estrogen levels to lead to PCOS. He said, athletic women and thin women will get this. I know may sound confusing..... it still is for me. With PCOS your eggs are not the best.

So I now have to take metformin for 3 months before I see him again. I am horrible at taking pills and have never really had to take any meds. in my life. I would always crush them when I did have to. I know I am a wimp! These pills I can't crush b/c they are extended release. Soooo I have to take them and want to take them....I just have to figure out how to swallow these dang things. It is all in my head and I just want to gag when I try to swallow a pill. It is frustrating! I would rather give myself a subcutaneous shot. haha. I will have to let you know how it goes. The nurse told me to have my husband hide them in my food. lol. No, I don't think I will be doing that. haha. Until then, we wait another 3 months and I just hope these help! We have to get good news sometime?! I hope when we see him again we will. Until then we will continue to pray!