Patience

I wanted to put an update on my appt today before I went to bed. I actually had HAPPY tears today!!! I drove to Carmel thinking the worst but praying for the best. When they did the u/s I had 10 follicles on my right ovary and 3 on my left! Right away I seen all my little follicles pop right up on my right ovary......I couldn't believe it!! I was proud and ready to write all the measurements of each down! I left with nothing but happy tears and called Jarod right away! They want me to take injections for a couple days and go back up. I can't wait to go back up now:) I know friday I was pretty down but knew I couldn't let it get to me too much. I think God was testing my patience......and that made today a million times more special! I hope everything continues to look good as we keep getting a little closer to starting a family!!

Confused

I know on my last post I talked about going to the doctor's office for my first u/s after taking some of my medications. Well that was Tuesday and they didn't really see any follicles. I wasn't too worried about it because our last IUI it took me a little longer to make follicles. So I was thinking that will probably happen again.

Well, yesterday I had another u/s after they increased my medications and it looked pretty much the same as my first u/s. Another nurse came in to double check if they were missing anything. Nope! At this point I didn't know what to think. I knew it wasn't good! I am confused, hurt, angry and all sort of other emotions!!! How can this be? All of my other IUI's I produced too many follicles and now we finally get to the point where we are comfortable to do an IVF cycle and there is NOTHING! I know every cycle is different BUT we did four IUI's and I had no problem producing. In a way I feel like I am being punished! The main reason we wanted to do IVF was because I couldn't take cancelling treatment's....and I am afraid that is what we are going to have to do this time:( I get my hopes up only for them to get knocked down again and again! I asked Jarod, do you think this is a sign that everything we try something goes wrong?!

When I left the office yesterday once again crying the nurse's thought Dr. J would cancel my IVF but they were going to call after they talked to him. I called work and told them I would be there monday and was already thinking about what do we do now? Should we try again? Later in the day the nurse called back and said, Dr. J would like to increase my medication again and have me come back in monday for one last u/s. That is one good thing I like about Dr. J is that he is always willing to try a little more. But, I am going to go up monday thinking the worst. I am still holding onto my hope and praying to God to help me be at peace with his plan! I would absolutley LOVE for my u/s on monday to show some follies growing but I know I will have to wait and see....

Round 5

I am going to bring up the "baby" topic again. We took a couple months off since our last IUI in preparation of doing the BIG IVF!! I never thought we would be doing this in a million years BUT things can change and you never what you may end up doing. As most of you know we tried four IUI's (2 negative and 2 cancelled). After we had to cancel our last IUI I couldn't take trying another! I am so excited yet scared at the same time to be able to try IVF! I had to take birth control for a month and I had never been so emotional before. I had taken a different kind for the IUI and didn't have any side effects but this time it was a different story! I could cry over little things and was totally not myself! I hated it b/c most things don't bother me at all! I am done with that though and I just started taking my injections again. I know prayer works and that is why I am posting about our next step. I know the next couple weeks could be the start of something special:) If you could say just a little prayer for us when you can I would love that! I will try to keep my blog updated. I go in for my first u/s tomorrow to see if they need to make any changes to my meds.

Birthday Time

Lateley I have been slacking BIG time on blogging! It is the summer "end" and we have had other things going on so I kinda put this to the side. I am going to post some pictures of our recent trip to DISNEY though:) We went to Disney for my Birthday and made a short trip of it by staying only three nights. We flew down early monday morning and came back thursday night....someone could get spoiled getting to Orlando in 2 hours! We had four whole days so it was a nice little vacay! We figured it up and we have went to Disney for the past 5 years, six including this year now!!! We had to keep the tradition going!

We stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge! LOVE this hotel!

Our room. We got a basic room but we ended up getting a partial view of the savannah to see the animals!

Just trying some things on at the store:)

We ate at Sanaa for my b-day dinner! Yum!

We could watch the animals from our table! I recommend this place for anyone going to Disney. Don't worry though we didn't have to watch what we were eating. lol

Cute restaurant and cute hubby:) hehe

Looky....being silly! This is what our nephew Dre's face looks like sometimes!  

Just relaxin

And roastin some marshmallows at our hotel.

We only went to one park and decided on Epcot since we went to Magic Kingdom last year. We love both but Magic is still going to be our fav.

This was so neat. A plane was writing in the air! I told Jarod we had to take a picture!

Germany was our favorite!

This guy was funny! I threw the ball in the net in one try....now it took Jarod I don't know how many times! But he was messing with Jarod too;)

Look who I found working

Just having fun on our patio! I told Jarod to keep his hair like that but he ended up wearing it like his usual.

More of our hotel grounds!

Last night:(  We had to laugh at the guy taking our picture b/c he had to go 1, 2...1, 2, 3 then took the picture. Both times.



The attack duck demanding food in downtown Disney! 

We like to resort hop at Disney and this time we went to Port Orleans Riverside and found this cute little bridge while walking. I am beginning to be more of a southern lover each year!

And last one!!!! See if you can find the hidden mickey?? We always look for them when we are at Disney and Animal Kingdom Lodge has the most so got to find out where most of them are.

Remembering my Sister

July 27, 2012 at noon was eight years since the car accident on July 27, 2004. It doesn't seem like eight years already! I will never forget that day or the night before the accident, which would be the last time I would see Lindsey here on earth. I still pray for dreams with her in them, think about her everyday and wonder what she is doing in heaven. When she died it was only 6 days after her 14th birthday. We are 5 years apart in age and we were just starting to get that close sisterly bond. We always got along but as we got older we were more interested in the same things, if you know what I mean?! 

Lindsey didn't ask for much, LOVED animals (especially rabbits, horses, dogs and cats), was a hard woker (she detasled corn that summer- I don't know if I could ever do that!), had a good heart and it didn't bother her much what others thought of her. The accident actually happened when they were on their way to the 4-H grounds. 

For the longest time I didn't talk about Lindsey or the accident much but gradually did start and now I want to bring her up. I don't know if a lot of people really know what exactly happened because I didn't explain it much. And I won't go into much detail. All I know is that I will NEVER forget seeing the car spin into the ditch in what seemed  like slow motion. I had never seen a car accident and then all of a sudden it was MY family that I was seeing in front of my eyes. I remember trying to feel for Lindsey's pulse while talking to my parents since they were awake the entire time during everything. I didn't know what to do. 

It didn't take long for help to arrive or until I was told to go into one of the ambulance's in which I don't remember what family remember was in that time. Everything seemed like a blur. When I received the news it felt like I was in a movie...like how they start out with the "not as bad news" to the worst possible! I just couldn't believe it! First my mom was okay but had a concussion, a few broken ribs, had to get staples in her head and they were going to keep her overnight in DCH. Then they told me my dad was life lined to Deaconess already and was in serious condition (I didn't even get to tell him bye). And then it came to my sister. I just knew but didn't want to hear it. 

My dad still says to this day that he should have went and Lindsey lived. It breaks my heart! But I know for now I will never know the exact reason God chose Lindsey. I know it feels like she had a short life here on earth but I bet she is very special up in heaven. It is always hard especially around her birthday and the anniversary! I cherish the memories we had together and I know she is watching over us. As hard as it is sometimes losing someone so close I would never change in a million years the memories we had those 14 years to none at all! 

The picture below is one my parents had made and I just LOVE it:) 

  

Lindsey Rochelle Nelson

4th of July

Here I am again with mostly pictures to show what we have been up to! I feel like I don't want to go into detail about every little thing so I keep it short and sweet:) 

We had A LOT of fun with our neighbors out on Boggs lake the Saturday and Sunday before the fourth! I have never really been out on the lake that much but it was a blast!

Tubing = bruises and soreness!lol. 

Some of the gang hanging out!

Homemade Popsicle's 

 Dre still loves to give his kisses to Katie:) The sweetest thing!

The family of 3 now

 I LOVE holding her!

 How can he look so cute being messy?!

 

The first rain after a month!! 

One more of Katie Jo. hehe

AND we celebrated our 5 year Anniversary!!! I feel like the luckiest girl everyday to be married to Jarod!   

Big Decisions

These past couple weeks I decided I wasn't going to post during our fourth IUI and to just update with hopefully good news afterwards. But that is not the case! We thought about it and took the chance of doing this IUI without IVF as a back up because we were ready to try again! We originally were going to do IUI with back up IVF since the last time they had to cancel our IUI because I overstimulated and had way too many eggs! But when we were told we would have to wait longer we decided to go for it and decrease my medication dosage and hope I wouldn't overstimulate.

At first my body wasn't making a lot of follicles (eggs) based on my 10 day u/s which was great so they uped my dosage a little. I waited a couple days and went back for my second u/s, which I still wasn't ready. At that pint this cycle was nothing like the past three and I think that is what threw everything off because my third u/s proved my body went into overproduction mode AGAIN!!!! My estradiol level was over 1000 and I had around 15 follicles! Right when they did the u/s I could see all these follicles pop up like wild flowers and I knew then that I was not going to get good news! The nurse doing my u/s I have gotten to know since December and I could tell she was hoping for one to stick out just like I was. But nope:( She looked at me and said, what do you think? I couldn't help it but to start crying and say, I know he is going to cancel again. I was so sad when I left and was feeling all types of emotions. I wasn't going to let myself get as down as the last time though.....I knew I had to stay strong!

I told the nurse we did take the chance but I was kicking myself for it! I should have known better but I know I couldn't look back! I was mad at myself that day but I know there is a reason for everything so I know there is a reason this happened! I told Jarod I am NOT DOING ANYMORE IUI'S because I can't take it after cancelling two now! So now we have the decision of IVF (which I NEVER thought we would have to do) or adoption. I know we would like to try atleast one IVF though! It does scare me but I talked to the nurse that day about it and that helped. There is so much involved emotionally with all of this I can't wait until we can start our family! I do know I wouldn't be able to be doing any of this without such a GREAT husband though!