It's Beginning to look a lot like Summer

I know it seems like forever since I posted!!! Lately I haven't been checking blogs as much and just not really posting as much either...which is obvious! I wanted to take a little break from it all and it was kinda nice! Don't get me wrong I love catching up on blogs and blogging but I just wanted a little break. 

I do have some pictures of just a couple things we have been doing the past month or so! 

We LOVE going to the neighbors to swim:) And love that they don't mind us making our way over;) hehe.

 The life guard! 

 Two of the sweet neighbor girls!

 Jarod was pretty good at squeezing into that little tube!

 The guys trying to decide on what to do! I just had to a picture b/c I guess it really does take that many to decide. lol 

 One of my best friends from college had a baby shower!!!! She looked adorable! Can't wait to meet Dylan!

 Us girls that always hung out in college!

 One of them just had a baby too.....she looks just like her big sister!

1. Lilah the "big sister" 

 Emma wanted a picture of the two of them! 

 We finally got to hold little Katie Jo!!!!! The newest niece...well the only one! I was soooo happy they were having a girl! And Dre was so stinking happy to hold her it was adorable! You can see how happy he is in this pic.!

 Awww!

 Jarod with two of  his brothers and niece.

 Looks like she has light hair!

With all these babies I am hoping some of that baby dust wipes off on us:) 

Bad News Is My Middle Name

I am back to update on our third IUI. Well, the title tells it all:( I ended up having my 10 day u/s on day 9 (friday) since I had to work the week-end! I went to the office to have my blood drawn and then we looked at the ultrasound to see that I had some decent size follicles but they weren't quite mature enough yet. Which is normal at this time! So they had me take more injections friday, saturday and sunday night and I was back again for another ultrasound monday. And that was the day I found I stimulated a little too much:( I had 7 large follicles on my right ovary and 3-4 on my left. I was scared of this and I even paged my doctor sunday night about taking my injection that night. I was starting to feel a little pressure and had never felt this with the other two IUI's. He still had me go ahead and take it that night but when I seen the ultrasound I wished I hadn't! My last IUI I took 4 vials of Bravelle and this cycle I took 7.

The office called me monday afternoon to let me know Dr. J would not proceed with the IUI with that many follicles. I know we don't want to be like John and Kate plus 8 but we were willing to try with that many follicles. I know call us crazy! But in our heads we really did't think sperm would find a home in all those eggs. I know it can happen but in our circumstances we just don't see it! We called them back to see if we could go for it and they still declined us. I knew it was b/c they were only looking out for the best for us. I even called the next day to see if we could just go ahead with a hot IVF but their lab was down. Ugh! I called back again to see if Dr. J could go to another office to do it, but no. I think at this point the nurse was probably like....she is calling again!

It is just so hard when we do so much and then have to stop it all!!!! I was so upset monday and tuesday b/c I know we have to wait around two more months before we can try this again AND that is even if our doctor will even want to. I am not one that likes to give up though. I couldn't stop crying monday and tuesday and didn't want to leave the house b/c I was so sad. I sometimes feel like maybe we shouldn't be doing this b/c we always seem to get bad news. Is that a sign??? I dunno know! But in our hearts we still want to try so we continue to follow our hearts! Last week I had so many mixed emotions but knew I couldn't stay down. I have so many wonderful people in my life that are so supportive and that helped so much!! More people than I imagined:) And I know I especially couldn't stay as strong without such a GREAT husband!!!! I am doing better after that rough week even though in the back of my head I wonder what the future holds.

Our comfort in our darkest hours can come only from the God who promises to never abandon us (Dt 31:6).

Round 3

Last week I drove up to Indy to see Dr. Jarrett for a baseline ultrasound. I always get nervous for this because I am always scared of what they will find. When they did the ultrasound we first looked at the right side. Looked great...still little cysts from my PCOS but other than that good. Then we looked at the left side. Not so good:( I had little cysts on that side as well along with two larger cysts. That is what I was scared about! They checked my estradiol level, gave me birth control pills and a script for Letrozole because we didn't know what Dr. Jarrett was going to do and I left with my hopes down. I got in my car crying because this isn't the first time they seen larger cysts. I had it in my head that Dr. Jarrett was going to say take the birth control and then come back when I have my next period. I had to do that once and it did get rid of my cyst.

The day went along with me feeling a little down but then I got the call later that day from the nurse to tell me my estadiol level was not high meaning that my cyst was not active and that Dr. Jarrett felt comfortable trying for another IUI this month! I wasn't expecting that at all but was HAPPY!!!! I have so much trust in Dr. J and just hope those two cysts don't interfere with my follicles trying to mature.

So I have been taking my Letrozole pills and Bravelle injections this week and go back for another ultrasound to see if I am making some good follicles. I hope so:) I am trying to stay busier so I don't think/worry about the unknowns. This is always more of an emotional time for me but I know that it is in HIS hands. I keep praying for our time to come.

If you could say a prayer for us these next few days/weeks I would appreciate it so much!

Grand Cayman

We knew we both had a week off in March but didn't know exactly what our plans were....looked into a couple places and things and then decided to go to Grand Cayman!!! We booked only about 3-4 weeks before we left and then last week is when we went to Grand Cayman for 5 days:) A lot of the reason we waited so long was because we didn't know what we would be doing infertility wise. A week before we left is when we got another negative so it was sooo nice to get away and have no worries!!!! Which the people in the Cayman's reminded me a lot of by always saying, no worries to any question. I felt so much more relaxed there and enjoyed every minute.  

We left monday morning when we got ALL that snow. It has only snowed like 3 times this winter and in March we got our biggest snow fall. Really? We had to wait 2 hours on our plan for them to de-ice it and then we were finally on our way! Missed our connecting flight in Miami but they gave us tickets for the next flight and only made it to the Grand Cayman 3 hours later. I was going to be okay as long as we could be on the beach for a little the first day. haha. 

The first evening on the beach:)

Looking to the east 

On Tuesday we took an amazing horse ride on the beach!

Me and my sweetie! 

Me and my horsey. He was so sweet.

This was the coolest thing....we rode in the ocean!!!!!

Taking some snaps!

My favorite picture! The horse is even is smiling. hehe

Jarod having some fun!

Wednesday we went into town. There were usually 3-4 cruise ships in port.

I got my coconut

Lathering up on Cemetery beach

Taking some pictures of  the pretty beach.

On Thursday we went on a jet ski tour to stingray city.

This was right before we went to pound the waves...and they were some big waves b/c it was so windy! It was kinda scary at first b/c I felt like I was going to fall off constantly but then I got use to them and was ready to ramp the waves. 

Starfish point

Rum point....loved the coconut holders.

At Rum point

Stingray City! The stingrays were bigger than I thought they would be but they were really cool to hang out with.

It is going to eat us up

Last day on the beach:( I was soaking up every last bit I could of the beautiful beach.

And last day at our resort....enjoying one last drink.

Last one at the airport. We seen chicken's everywhere and I think this one was trying to escape. I thought it was pretty funny to see a chicken at the airport! ha

Now back to reality. One thing I always miss when we leave an island is the slow pace....well and the beach too. haha. The people there are always more laid back.   

Another Negative

I know I didn't post about our previous IUI but we did do another IUI a couple weeks ago. I didn't talk about it too much and didn't really announce it to too many people that we were doing it. I thought if I didn't tell a lot of people I wouldn't worry about it ALL the time but it really didn't make a difference.

I went in for my baseline ultrasound on a thursday prior to starting my meds/injections again and everything looked great! So I took my meds/injections and then went in for my second ultrasound 10 days later. I had one really good follicle around 20 cm and couple others around 15 cm. MUCH better than December and we weren't messing around with a ton of little follicles like last time. At this point I was having really good feelings about everything thinking this may be our time! So that following monday they did an IUI and everything went really good. Then it was the two week (felt like forever) waiting period.

I did get anxious at times and I know I worried about it more than I should have. I really tried not to but it is soooo hard!!! Well, we waited and then it was time to take the BIG pregnancy test again. I was scared, happy, nervous and hoping for the best! BUT once again it was NEGATIVE! I hate that I am getting used to seeing this reading:( My heart was hurting and all I could think about was that I really did have a good feeling about this. So now we have to take another month off and then we can try again. We are up for trying again and still have hopes but we do get discouraged a little each time. I feel like EVERYONE is announcing they are pregnant and we are slowly getting left behind. I am happy for the other couples but then again it is hard. You feel like you are going on a mary go round and other people are coming off and on as we we continue to ride. I don't know what is in store for our future but we continue to pray and wait for our time!        

I am not MIA

Has it really been almost a month since my last post!!! Man, I am slacking. haha. 

The past month we:

Celebrated Jarod's 31st Birthday!!!!

Jarod's oldest brother got married on new years eve!

Went to Cincy for a day (Jungle Jim's and the Zoo) 

Had a super bowl party

Hung out with some friends 

Worked (I bet you wouldn't have guessed that. haha)

Relaxed 

Researched vacation spots (LOVE doing this!)

and a little bit of this and that! 

And as I look back I didn't take many pictures and wish I would have....I seem to go through spurts where I take lots or pictures and then I don't. I do have some though. 

The penguin parade at the zoo. I loved how funny they walked.

This was a picture my parents had ordered of my sister...it is a cross between a painting and picture. I wanted to post it b/c I loved how it turned out!!! Oh how I miss her!

For Jarod's b-day the neighbor girls made him cards and decorated their basement. It was so sweet and they were so excited to do it. 

The signs they made.

I got Jarod these glove shoes for his b-day. He already guessed what I got him so it wasn't much of a surprise for him. I can never surprise him...geesh! 

They really do feel good on!

Birthday cake time!

Jay (Jarod's brother) and Melissa got married in Jarods dad's cabin. It was a small wedding but turned out perfect!

The Knepp family.

All the brothers!

Me and my sister in laws.

We played cornhole and just hung out for the reception after the wedding. And me and my awesome hubby were the cornhole champs!!! First time for me! Yay. Sorry just had to post it. hehe