Sunday, March 10, 2013

Not Again

Well, here goes. I have been putting this off because I just didn't know where or how to start. As you know everything was looking GREAT! We ended up staying the night in Indy since we had to be at the center at 7:00 am Thursday. And, went to bed with me saying, this may be the last night just the two of us. The only thing is right before we were getting ready to leave and just after we said our prayer together. My phone rings. I thought maybe they were calling to give us a different time. Nope. They were calling to say, NEITHER of our embryos made it through the thaw! WHAT?? My heart sank and I just started crying! I knew there was a chance of this happening but never did I think to BOTH of our embryos! We were soooo ready too!! At that time it felt like it wasn't real and we were going to wake up. But that was reality!

I am so heartbroken about this and really don't know what to think. There is always something that has to go wrong....I wish I knew why it ALWAYS happens so much to us. I am trying to get through this but I am taking it harder than I thought! I so wish I was giving good news on here but unfortunately I'm not! I will update a little more later....

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry!!!
Its so unfair!!!
Praying for you

Em
from Australia

Jaimee Granberry said...

My heart breaks with you. Praying for understanding and peace...and guidance on where to go from here.

Anonymous said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry. I believe that God has a perfect plan, but sometimes I don't understand it. I wish there was a way to make sense of things like this. I've been there and know how deep the sense of loss, confusion, and saddness is. Someone once told me, it's not a question of IF you will be a mother, the questions are WHEN and HOW. But knowing that you WILL be a mother and will have a child someday, helped to ease some of my pain. I know that the answer God was giving me was "not now" and possibly "not this way", but it wasn't a no to motherhood. You WILL be a MOMMY. Whether that is through another cycle or adoption, do not doubt that you will have a child.

Anonymous said...

Ash, :( My heart breaks for you and Jarod.. We are continuing to pray for you. Easier said than done, but you are such a strong women, stay strong and think positive thoughts about the future. God has a plan!

Abbie said...

When I saw the blog post title my heart just dropped...so sorry, sweet girl! I can't imagine what you are going thru - you and Jarrod are lifted up in prayers!!!!

Ashley said...

I"m so sorry that you are going through this. You are in my prayers.

Hoping for our own Peanut said...

I am so sorry. I cant even imagine.

Shannon said...

Hi Ashley... Been out of town for work and driving home when u popped in my thoughts so literally pulled over to see if there were any updates and darn that title! No words just echo what everyone else has said and sending love from afar.

Tera said...

So sorry, Ashley. :(