Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Thoughts

I know I talk about God's plan. I see families start and multiply more than once while we are still trying. I think of my "want". I get frustrated, heartbroken, try to stay patient, keep my faith, grow, get confused at times, have doubts and many more emotions! I always think of why we have so many set backs and if there is meaning to this. Over the past 3 years and 2 months of us trying we do think of adoption more. Are all these set backs preparing us?? This crosses my mind A LOT. I so badly want to carry a child....to have that feeling. I think most women would! It does scare me that this may never happen to me. I try so hard and am one that doesn't like giving up. For the ones out there that have adopted when did you know you were ready to take that leap? I still feel like trying a little longer but don't know how much longer I can take "trying" if you know what I mean. And thanks so much for the prayers and support!!!

4 comments:

Tera said...

I think something that may help you is to not see pursuing adoption as an end to trying for a biological child but just a different way of going about having your 1st child. When we committed to adoption, the next morning, Alex and I both just felt like a weight had been lifted! We no longer needed to stress about cycle days and we could focus on adoption plans- that would promise us a child in the end! No more wondering about IF we'd have another baby but WHEN we'd have another baby! I completely understand why you would still have the desire to carry a child bc I would have been devastated if we hadn't been blessed with our older girls. BUT, I feel completely at peace about not getting pregnant anymore...granted, I'm almost 34 so that has a little to do with it too. :) Praying for wisdom and discernment for you!

Chelsa said...

Hey sweet girl! Obviously I've never adopted, but after I was born my parents were unable to have any more children. My brother is adopted. I can't imagine my life with out him and I know my parents can't either.

I would love to adopt- unfortunately the program we are interested in I'm not old enough yet.

I know God will lead you to the right answers.

Megan said...

Ashley Matt and I talked about adoption when we dated. It was something that we always wanted to do but we did think it would come after biological children. We set a personal limit based on what we were willing to do and finances. I will never forget the words that we were going to need to move on to the next procedure because my pregnancy test was negative again. I knew we were at our limit and we felt the same way as Tera. Felt like a weight was lifted. We couldn't wait to pursue adoption. The guarantee of bringing a baby home was the most amazing thing ever! The experience ended up being even better than imagined. Everyone comes to that decision in their own way! It's sure amazing though.

Becky said...

Hi Ashley, I stumbled onto your blog today through another blog. My husband and I also went through years of infertility including IVF and a miscarriage. After our second cycle we decided to move forward with adoption, for us adoption had been on our hearts for a while and we just had this feeling of being done with treatment. A great quote I heard about when it's time to quit is, "When it hurts more to go on than it does to quit, it's time to quit."

I wrote a post about our decision which can be found here if you think it might be a help to you: http://redeemedchildofgod.blogspot.com/2012/08/how-do-you-know-when-you-are-done-with.html

Just said a prayer for you.