Friday, October 12, 2012

The same news we always get

I guess it is time to tell everyone the news. This week I have thought about blogging a few times about what we found out but then I just wouldn't have any urge. I really don't feel like talking about it now but I know people are wondering. The ladies at work I have already told because I am around them a lot and just wanted to put it out there. I didn't want to go through them asking and me feeling like I could break down each time.

We are NOT pregnant. I had so much hope on this! So many people were praying for us that it brought tears to my eyes. So many GREAT people in our life and they too are the one's helping us get through this hard time. I know it wasn't guaranteed that we would get pregnant. I think the doctor gave a statistic of a 64 percent it would work for us. Even though I didn't think of this IVF transfer as a statistic. I knew we had a good chance! In all it had to be up to God to give us this miracle child. I don't know why this wasn't our time. I just cried and couldn't sleep the night we found out. I still get emotional and don't feel like talking about it much. Well, Jarod I do want to talk to about it.

I hate bringing this up but it is hard seeing other couples get married and get pregnant right away. When I feel like it should be our turn. I'm confused on what we should be doing. Should we start looking into adoption or keep trying?? Like I have said before, I still have the desire to keep trying. It shouldn't be this hard to have a child. This year we decided we won't do anything more with baby stuff. We see our doctor at the end of this month to talk. So we will see what 2013 will bring us! I am so ready for something good to come!

11 comments:

Abbie said...

I can't imagine how hard this is for you...I am so sorry and will continue to pray for you and Jarod! I pray that God will clearly show you what the next step is!!

Anonymous said...

Don't give up. If this is what your heart truly wants, never give up. Never give up hope or trying. I know a woman who was in her 40s who got p/g on their second (and what they said would be the final) round of IVF. She is now the proud mother of two HEALTHY & HAPPY twin boys. God put you on this path for a reason. Search for it, but never give up hope! Praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and Jarod! God will never give you more than you can handle, and he has such BIG plans for you both! You are deserving and will have your family, God will provide in his timing! God Bless you as you move forward!

Jaimee Granberry said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, my heart breaks for you guys. Praying that God will give you peace and comfort over His plan for your family, as well as, reveal His will to you- preparing your hearts for what is to come! "Even now, stand and see this great thing which The Lord will do before your eyes!"-1 Samuel 12:16

Anonymous said...

I have been in this situation myself.It's an exhausting mental,physical and then some roller coaster ride. I had to take a break and regroup. It's something that you never forget but slowly time heals this to a point.I almost broke a couple of times losing hope,faith and my sanity ( it seems like) seeing my friends and those around me starting families. I will pray for you daily. Just take time that is needed.May you be both blessed as you continue on your journey.Hugs to you both!

Anonymous said...

I posted the last time and said my son and daughter-in-law live in Carmel and are going thru the same procedure. They are not pregnant either. She goes back to the Dr. on Tuesday to find out when they can try again. They are going thru the same emotions as you. They have been married 6 years. I agree with another comment. If this is what you truly want I would try again. I had my last child when I was 42. I have 2 sons and a daughter. I wish I would have had more. So I always tell people if you want children do it. You will never regret it, but you will regret if you stop trying. Remember God is an awesome God. Things will work out in Gods time.

Sue said...

Ashley, I don't know you well but I feel deeply for your struggle and am in near tears for you now. I too had issues with infertility and had the same feelings you are describing. "Why does it seem so effortless for all these couples around me to start a family." It's hard... but like several others posted...dont stop trying if this is what you really want. Dont give up. Pray out to God ...seek Him with your whole heart. Praying for you and Jarod.

Whitney said...

My heart breaks for you and Jarod. I know that anything I say will not help or ease your pain at this time. I just want to pray for you and that God will lead you down the path that is made for you. I know right now it is hard and you don't know what to do, but He has made a plan for you and it is good. I pray for comforting and healing as well. Stay strong!

Tera said...

Ashley- I could tell in your eyes last Sunday when I said Hi to you that you weren't pregnant. I told Alex when we got home how much it hurt knowing what you guys are going through! It's tough!! It's the hardest thing we ever went through. I will tell you this...God is leading you. He is tearing down walls and opening your heart to things you never thought possible. We were in the works for IVF when God finally made me realize that adopting was not a second option. It was his #1 option for our baby #3. It was the plan He prepared for us before time began and it just took 9 years of Him molding our hearts for us to see it was time! I completely understand your desire to be pregnant and have a biological child though. ((hugs)) He has given you the desire to be a mother and He will give you the desires of your heart! He is able to be immeasurably more than we can imagine!!! Praying for you!!

Casey Collyar said...

I know how hard it is and it is close to one of the hardest things to have to go through in life. Keep believing and keep praying. I waited for many years now I have two precious babies. God knew I could not handle two babies any sooner than he gave them to me.

Courtney, Jeff, Ayla & Leah said...

Ashley.. If I could reach through this computer to hug you I would. Tears fall as I read this. I know I can not totally know your pain but my heart is heavy for you. I know the desire to mother and I know God is preparing you for that. His timing is perfect! If you don't feel like giving in... Don't! I will keep you in my prayers