Mixed Emotions

This post is an update on our journey with infertility. I know I haven't posted anything about it in a while and just found out some news this week that is giving me mixed emotions. We have been doing really good with the thought of still no positive pregnancy test until this week. I had called the doctor's office to get a requisition for a sperm anaylsis a couple weeks ago. Well the first try we messed it up a little. Funny now but not that funny at the time. I know I kinda felt a little stupid at the time since I am a nurse but wasn't thinking about really at the time. So my poor husband had to do the sperm in a bottle thing.  We followed the directions on the paper and had it all ready. We didn't get the sperm too hot or too cold on the way to the hospital and were pretty happy of getting that over with. Well....we got to the hospital and they asked if we kept them under our armpit or in between our legs to keep them BODY TEMPERATURE. I was like....uhhh no! They said they could do the test but it wouldn't be as accurate so I said, we will just have to do it again. In my head I was like not again. My poor husband! I still have to tell the doctor's office they should put that on the paper. I know there has to be more people out there that did the same thing!

So last friday we did the test AGAIN. I was nervous of what the results would be and called the doctor's office wednesday to see if they had the results yet. They said they had the results but had to show them to the doctor before they could tell me. I knew it wasn't going to be good news when they said that or they would have probably told me then. They called back a few minutes later and the news that still makes my heart sink is that Jarod's sperm count was ONLY 2!!!! Just 2!!! The news nobody wants to hear!! The normal is 60,000-100,000! I wanted to start crying on the phone but held it in until I hung up. I am nervous, scared, happy and don't know what to do. I am happy that atleast we did have 2 and not 0. That is the postive! But our chances of having a baby on our own is going to be reallyyy hard. I have been praying every night for months now that we will be able to have a child. Jarod and I even joked that those few sperms that do survive are going to have to be some pretty tough sperm. haha. We did do another sperm analysis that same day and I will find out the resutls monday. I know it will still be low but having a second test done will make me feel better!

I called that same day to the urologist to get an appointment for Jarod b/c he does have a Variocele. This is the #1 cause of infertility in males. It is an abnormal enlargement of the vein that is in the scrotum draining the testicles. It pretty much heats the sperm too much where it kills them. I am hoping the doctor can do surgery and that will give us a greater chance of increasing Jarod's sperm count. The surgery can be done in an out-patient bases and usually doesn't have any complications. Usually pretty simple! I just hate that Jarod may have to get this done b/c nobody likes to have any kind of surgery. But he is willing and is being a good sport:) I couldn't get an appointment in until the end of this month which I was bummed about:( Does anyone know of any guy that has or had this?!

Until then I am just asking if you could say a little prayer for us! This week really got me down but I know there is a reason for everything. I am sooo grateful that I have an amazing husband that is right there by my side and such good support! We have already talked about the what if's and what we thought about things! This is only the begining and I know something will work out! I know God has a plan for everything! Just wish I knew now. I know, I know I don't have much patience! I do know this will only make us stronger in the end though!