Doubts

I debated about posting this but I am having doubts that I will get pregnant. As most know we took a break after we got a negative pregnancy test after our first IVF. We thought we would try a FET (frozen embryo transfer) the beginning of this year. Well, I waited for my period to start in December     ....and after 45 days I knew it wasn't going to start. And I knew I was NOT pregnant! I try not to stress about it but to be honest that is extremely hard!

 I knew that they had a protocol and if I was late that would push things back. I was suppose to take birth control after I started my period but instead they had me take Provera to start my period and jumped right into taking estrace to prepare for our FET.  I really wanted to take BC because I know it helps decrease the size of large cysts that they tend to find on my ovaries but I was ready to try again!!! Well, I had an u/s last week and guess what?? They seen a large cyst and had to cancel. I have been told "we have to cancel" more times than I ever wanted to hear. I have literally cried leaving the office pretty much everytime because once again they had to give me bad news. I see that look on their face that they hate to tell me the news but they always say, we will get you there! I am starting to have my doubts though! Is there a reason this keeps happening?! I question that all the time! 

For now I am taking BC and will have to go back to Indy for another u/s and we will see from there what we will do next. I always try to stay positive but it is just hard sometimes! I keep praying those two frozen embryos waiting on us will grow inside me! I just don't know if that is in God's plan though:(