Back to the hospital

Today my dad had his doctor's appt. and he said my dad may have to be on bedrest another month! He is just taking longer to heal. I know there is nothing else we can do except to let his body heal on its own like nature intends it to. So today my dad asked if he could go back into the hospital b/c he feels so crammed in his bed turning every 2 hours and he was getting more depressed with everything going on. Not most people ask to go back into the hospital but he felt like it was best for him. I thank everyone so much that has said a prayer for my dad!!!!! I think the doctor putting him in the hospital happened for a reason. Hopefully my dad will be healed by the holidays! With lots of love, Ashley.  

What bedrest can do to you

I debated about posting this but I am so confused on what to do that I just have to. I feel like I try and try and get no where.....and it just hurts. This post is about needing prayers for my dad. Like you know he had surgery September 28 and with it being a month later he is still on bedrest trying to let his body heal from the surgery. He was able to come home last week but in an ambulance because the doctors still don't want him out of bed. While in the hospital he got a little infection so that set him back healing wise but we were hoping he would have been able to get out of bed by now! I can't imagine having to stay in bed 24/7!!! We have to go by the doctors orders though and my dad HAS to stay in bed. The only thing is that my dad is getting so stir crazy that he said, no matter what he is getting up this week-end. He has a doctor's appt. tomorrow and I am a little scared to hear what he has to say. What if he feels he still isn't ready to sit up? What if something happens and then my dad has to start at square one again?

I know it is extremely hard for my dad but I try to encourage him as much as I can. I have been visiting him most of the days I am off work but it doesn't seem like it is affecting his mood/thoughts. Well.....I know it is a little but I just wish he would be in better spirits. This past week or two he has just been thinking so negative and just isn't himself. He gets upset about things easily and I try to talk to him about it but I feel like I get no where. My mom and grandma try to talk to him and still don't really get nowhere. This is what I was mostly asking prayers for. I pray that my dad starts to have a better outlook on things. I know only he himself can do this. It is ultimately up to him. The only thing is that it affects all of us and just flat out makes me sad. I hate seeing my dad like this! He knows this isn't long term and I keep saying each day is one day closer that he will be able to get up. I have really thought about having a counselor or someone talk to my dad. I have been in situation's trying to help before but this time it is harder and I am trying to do the best thing. My mom stays at home with my dad everyday and he will want to take his frustration out on her at times and it just kills me. The last time he had to stay bedridden was after the car accident 6 years ago and half of that time he was medicated and didn't really know what was going on. My dad has his times where being paralyzed gets to him but this is reallyyy getting to him and is affecting my mom as well.

Does anyone know of a counselor that will go to someone's home or even a counselor that they can go visit?!  This is just something really hard to deal with. At first I didn't even know if I wanted to bring this out in the open because it can be embarrasing. But I feel I need some advice or suggestions at this point. I hope the doctor gives the okay to my dad to get up because I know that will help tremendously but as long as he has to stay bedridden he is going to feel trapped. If you have any advice or suggestions please, please, please tell me!!!! I am ready for things to settle down for a bit between this and our infertility struggle! The holidays are quickly approaching. I keep reminding myself things will get better!!! Everyday is a new day:)


The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. -Deauteronomy 31:8     

1 doctor, 2 Doctor, 3 Doctor.....More?

Between Jarod and I and my dad it seems like we are always seeing doctors! My dad is STILL in the hospital and it we hit the 2 week mark yesterday. I know in my previous post I had said the doctor thought my dad would only have to be in the hospital 2 weeks. We were hoping but weren't counting on it too much b/c like I said anytime my dad goes in the hospital it is usually 3-4 weeks. It is weird saying, only 2 weeks b/c normally people are in and out of the hospital on average a week. But it is something we just prepare ourselves for and try to help as much as we can to get my dad back home. We don't try and push it though b/c we want my dad back home cured and don't want any reasons to be going back to the hospital again. At first my dad was doing okay but I think with anyone after being in the hospital for a while it will start to get to you. He was getting a little down but is back to his old self again. I think too if I had to stay in bed in the hospital all day and night I would start getting a little stir crazy too. haha. I am one that likes to keep busy!! When it was really nice outside I could tell my dad wanted to just be outside b/c he knows the winter is fast approaching. My mom and grandma have been going down there everyday and staying pretty much the whole day with him and I have been driving 2-3 times a week. Ugh....I hate that hour drive and after a while it just wears you out. But I want to see my dad and keep him company so I tough it out. He is still getting IV antibiotics and the doctor says, his surgery site is healing good but just a little slower then he wanted. As long as he is improving we are all happy!

As for Jarod and I. I have been putting it off to post about our most recent doctor's visit b/c I was so emotional about it at first and didn't really want to talk about if for a couple weeks. It hit me harder than Jarod but we are both doing better. We just have to keep reminding ourselves something will come of this all and no matter what does I know we will be happy! So here goes. A couple weeks ago we got the results back from Jarod's hormone levels, Semen Analysis (SA) and Urinalysis. Hormone levels were normal so that couldn't be causing his low sperm count. Urinalysis didn't have any sperm so he doesn't have a back flow of sperm into his bladder. And his SA was ZERO again!!!! Three weeks prior to this appt. his count was zero and 3-4 months ago his count was 2 million. I know things can change in 3 months with sperm production so that could effect the results every 3 months. So we are still in the process of trying to find out why Jarod's sperm count is low. The doctor said, the last test to do is a testicular biopsy. Do you remember me saying the other doctor wanted to do that?! Well now that we have had Jarod's hormone levels checked, his  urinalysis done and his couts are now zero I feel more comfortable moving forward with this option. Note how I said, I. Jarod is still a little scared but is willing to do it. Before I didn't want to jump into surgery until we had other things tested and just b/c surgery would be more painful for Jarod. Well I think we are at the point where this is the last option and if we can't find anything from this then we may not know whey Jarod's counts are low.

The biopsy will determine if Jarod is producing adequate sperm or just really none at all. The doctor said, 1/3 of the time the male is producing enough sperm but has a blockage and that is the cause but the other 2/3 are just not really producing. The way the doctor was explaining to us didn't sound good. But we want to know what is causing this and are hoping and praying, hoping and praying that is is a blockage. I want Jarod to be one that has a blockage!!!! The surgery was elective and it took us a couple days to decide exactly what we wanted to do. I know Jarod will be sore a couple days after the surgery and will be on bedrest but I told him I will take good care of him:) So the surgery is planned for the begining of Nov. I am happy I have a husband that is willing to go through this b/c not all guys would want to. No matter what we have to go through I know we will be at one another's side and will support one another. I have to say, I am one of the luckiest girls to have such an amazing hubby!!!!

Until then we will have to wait and see. And like I said, I had been putting this post off b/c when we heard the news I was thinking we may never be able to have a kid that is both ours. And that may be true! However, if we can't I can't let that get to me or us. I know there are other options out there even though I would LOVE for US to have a kid together!!!! Wouldn't most people?! I was sad at first and those first couple of days after hearing that news I didn't want to do anything.....I really didn't think I would be like that. I guess you never really know until it happens. And that saying is so true......when something does happen you never really know until it happens but you have to keep moving forward and thank God for what you do have. I know there will still be days where I will get down but I know that is normal. It is hard to believe next month will be a year since we have been trying and thinking we had thoughts we would be a family of 3 by now!!!! I hope 2011 will be the year a little Knepp will be made:)

Besides all that doctor business we really have been enjoying life and this awesome weather!! We took a drive through Shoals and to French Lick last saturday. I know some people would laugh but it really is pretty around there esp. this time of year!! We got to see the golf coarse at French Lick and that place is absolutely beautiful!!!! I could just hop in a golf cart and drive around and be completely happy. haha. It is gated but if you can get the chance check it out.....it costs a lot of $$$ though! Too much for me!!! We did sneek in though and looked around for a couple minutes and that is how we go to check it out;) Then sunday we just hung out at the house and some friends over and watched football. Typical sunday!

Surgery Update

My dad had his surgery and is doing very good right now!!! I know the prayers worked! He was in surgery for 4 hours yesterday and felt pretty good except for a stiff neck yesterday after surgery and still today. I think by tomorrow his neck will feel much better! So far the doctor says, everything looks great and maybe he will only have to be in the hospital 2 weeks. He loved hearing that and so did we! Driving to Evansville is a longg drive after you go a couple times a week. Blah! So hopefully no temp. will occur during that time frame and he will heal great. And he may be sucking up to the nurses a little too. He had my mom buy a big stash of candy for everyone. haha. Trying to make the  best out of being in the hospital:)

Also, I wanted to share a video we watched before surgery to give some laughs! I heard about it on the radio and so we had to look it up. Click on this link.... click on most popular....click 7 year old rapper Lil' Peanut. He just too cute!
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/videos/


Thanks again for the prayers!!!

Prayer Request

If anyone could say a little prayer for my dad tomorrow I would appreciate it soo much....and I know he would too:) He is having surgery tomorrow at 2:00 (3:00 our time) in Evansville. I won't really go into to much detail though. He has been getting IV antibiotics for around 6 weeks now everyday and seeing doctors which has been kind of tough on both of my parents. They have been managing their schedules pretty good though and listening to the doctors. That is what has kept him out of the hospital.....until tomorrow. We are guessing he will probably be in the hospital for 3-4 weeks which he is not looking forward to....and I don't blame him. So if you could just keep him in your thoughts it will help so much!! I hope everything goes okay tomorrow and there are no complications. Me being a nurse I always think of what could happen b/c you just never know. Life is so unpredictable! My dad has made it through A LOT already so I have confidence he can make it through a lot more!!! I don't know what I would do without my parents! I thank God everyday for them and I know Lindsey will be looking down on us.

 

"The Boat"

I just wanted to post a picture of our boat that we fixed up.....well we are still in the process of fixing it up! I think it might be one of those never ending things?! You know what I mean! We are going to do the rest this fall/winter when we can't use the boat. Still need to put a shiny coat on the outside and paint the inside. Until then we just want to get some use out of it and we have. Have you seen a boat taking laps around the Montgomery Lake?? That might have been us. haha.



The before- We sanded it all down and made the top front bigger. It is hard to tell in the after pic.

The after- We wanted to see the wood grains but I think we might put just a little more stain on the outside.

The HOT driver. hehe.

Me posing:)

Just enjoying our boat!

Oh, and I have been making more tutu's again! I kind of went through a slow period where I didn't really make any and I just made 2 this past week!!!  This is for a one year old when she welcome's her little brother at the hospital and then she is going to wear it around Christmas time too.

This is for a Boy! Joking!! Made for the fall time.

One of my best friends from college was celebrating her daughter's birthday last week-end and had these cute cupcakes. It was fairy themed if you couldn't tell;) 

And this is the birthday girl!! She is such a doll and did so good at her party. She even ate all of her cupcake....she LOVED it! She is already going to be a big sister next year!



Hope you enjoyed the pics!! If you have any suggestions on the boat let me know! I think we are going to paint the inside a bluish/green color. What do you think?!

We Love our Doctor

Wow, it has been a month since I blogged. How did that happen?! We haven't been really busy and I didn't want to bore anyone so I guess that is how that happened! I have been following other blogs though. haha. This past week/week-end we had a little more going on. Lots of birthdays in the month of August. I turned 25, my father-in-law had a birthday, my grandma and a good friend.

This past sunday after church we went to my grandmas to celebrate her b-day. She wanted to cook though....my crazy g-ma. I love her to death though and she sure does have some good cooking skills! After that we went on a little cruise in our BOAT! Well it isn't like a normal boat it is an antique wooden boat that we have been working on. Nothing fancy but Jarod and I both love it! We just love the fact that we have a wooden boat....not to many of those around anymore! It seats 4-6 people and we have been working on it for the past month and are still working on it. We had to sand the entire boat and re-stain it, then build a new back for it and had to find an antique motor. We were so excited to take it out.....it makes all that work worthwhile! I will have to post some before and after pics. It doesn't go very fast but is so relaxing out on the water with it:)

This past monday we had our appintment with the urologist/male infertility specialist in Indy. Going to the appointment we didn't know what to expect. We have been coming out of other doctor's appointments feeling a little down and more confused on what we wanted to do. Well this was the first appointment we left with feelings of HOPE! We both LOVED the doctor and he was so easy talk to and actually made a plan. My kind of doc!!! The doc. is  Dr. Thompson in Indy and I totally recommend him to anyone that is going through infertility! When we found out about Jarod's low sperm count I knew we had to see a urologist to have Jarod checked out and we did but I feel seeing a doctor that has a specialty in male infertility is so important! He did an excellent assessment on Jarod, did more blood work (checked the levels of his hormones) and another semen analysis. When we go to our next appointment we will get the results of the blood work and the doctor wants to do another semen anylysis. Yeah just what Jarod wanted to hear. NOT!! But he is willing to another. I gotta love him for being such a good sport! The doctor wants to do another semen anaylsis b/c Jarod's count was ZERO this time. Okay we had two tests that had 2 million and now zero. So the doctor wants to do another test to compare the semen anaylsis' and then go from there. Maybe if this next one is zero Jarod may a blockage? I don't want to start jumping to conclusions until we get the results of all the tests though!

When we left we felt happy for once leaving a doctor's appointment. Not happy that we are having to go through this but that we actually felt comfortable and a little relieved. No we didn't get much more answered and we may not at the next visit but we feel better that this doctor is trying to rule out everything to figure what may be causing Jarod's count to be low and to help us out. We felt like he really cared and you don't how good that made us feel! I know not all people get answers and we may not either. If we do I pray that we will have hope in having a child!! So until then we are still not bring the subject up as much and enjoying life with it just being Jarod and I. We still talk to family and friends about it but it isn't so much a main topic as it was before between the two of us. Even though at night I still pray that our dreams will come true of having a child of our own!

I also wanted to tell a funny story from the doctors office. I thought it was funny but you may of had to just be there. The doctor was doing an assessment on Jarod and Jarod was already not looking forward to this doc. grabbing his goods. haha. So the doctor did what he had to do and then Jarod "thought" he was done and so did I. Then the doctor says now if you could turn around and bend over the table I am going to have to check your prostate!!!! I didn't know if Jarod knew how they checked that or not.......well the look on his face when he turned around to look at me was priceless.....and he knew how they checked it. hahaha. I couldn't help but bust out laughing when he looked at me like that and the doctor was like I know, I know but I have to do this. I was laughing the entire time and that doc. was proabably thinking a good wife you have. haha. It didn't last long and Jarod hopes to not have that checked for a while!!! I don't blame him!

Also, the doctor answered our question of what we thought was a variocele we felt. Come to find out it is a cyst and nothing to worry about. That is good to know!!  

Hope everyone is having a good week and it is almost FRIDAY and a 3 day week-end for most!!! Picures to come in the next post!